Virginity

  This is an essay I wrote for my self-picked topic for Speech & Debate. Enjoy, and comment!

Those of us who grew up in the 80’s—or even just those of us who can recognize good music—are probably familiar with the artist Madonna and some of her timeless songs. One of which are titled ‘Like A Virgin’. I’m sure many of you all have heard it, and the lyrics can immediately come to your mind… “Like a Virgin/ Touched for the very first time”. Now, when listening to this song, not much thought is given to what she is saying, but it is something that is actually a rather peculiar thing—the idea of being a virgin. Now, apparently, the general consensus of what it means to be a virgin is to have not engaged in vaginal intercourse. But is that really what it is? Have you ever pondered on the idea that “virginity” isn’t really a state of being, but more so just a concept that was conjured up, solely for the purpose of further dividing our societies? The position that I am presenting about this topic is one that is based on the notions that “virginity” is not something that can be physically determined, that the presence of homosexuals and born-again Christians nullifies this idea, and that the occurrence of rapes in our societies further complicates this idea.

       I want to return back to the widely-accepted definition of virginity. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, one who is a virgin is “a person who has not engaged in sexual intercourse”. And the first definition under “sexual intercourse” is “heterosexual intercourse involving the penetration of the vagina by the penis”. Seems pretty accurate, right? But let’s take a closer look in on this term, from a more medical point of view. This definition did not specify that these terms are gender-specific. But it also tends to be a widely-accepted detail that men are neither virgins or non-virgins, mainly due to the fact that it really just can’t be determined whether or not a male is a virgin or not. Whether a male has had zero or twenty acts of sexual intercourse, there is no physical difference in their anatomy. So doesn’t that in itself prove the definition to be wrong?

       But we should also look at this from the other side of the spectrum. Many people say that the reason females are virgins is due to the hymen; a thin piece of tissue that partially blocks the entrance of the vagina. During sexual intercourse, this piece of flesh is broken, and BAM! No more virginity! But is it really that simple? Let’s think about it. The reason that the hymen is broken is mainly due to vigorous activity that causes it to “pop”. However, the terms of this “vigorous activity” is not exclusive to sex; it is a common occurrence in the activities of horseback-riding or cycling for a girl’s hymen to be broken. Adding more support to this argument is the fact that the hymen is not 100% guaranteed to break during sex. There have even been accounts of women’s hymens being intact after giving birth. These facts prove that “virginity” cannot be physically measured. So since it isn’t based on human anatomy, what is it?

       Although many people refuse to accept it, it is a fact that we have homosexuals in our societies. This really is not a new idea, though; this type of sexuality has been recorded to be present in ancient societies dating back to the BC era. What is so radically different about it is that in modern times, people are being open about it, and demonstrate gay pride, almost to the point that homosexuality could be considered somewhat mainstreamed. Just for a little context, homosexual relationships exist between people of the same gender—so a man with a man, and a woman with a woman. Although this sexual status tends to be a very wish-washy topic, one thing is clear: these types of relationships do not fit in nicely with this idea of virginity. According the definitions that I mentioned before, not only can homosexuals not lose their virginities, but they also do not even have legitimate sex. Since, for humans, sex is not only engaged in for reproductive purposes, but also to demonstrate the extent of love for one’s partner, it is understandable why many homosexuals would be appalled, and maybe even somewhat angered at the idea that they are all, according to a mere definition, still virgins.

       The same kind of situation exists with born-again Christians. These are individuals have gone through a process in which they renew their commitment to their faith, and are forgiven for all their sins. One of such sins being engaging in sex outside of wedlock, these individuals are forgiven for their acts, and claim the title as a “born-again virgin”. But wait; this doesn’t seem like a valid status, since they clearly are not virgins according to the definition, right? We again run into the problem with this word; these individuals don’t fit in the definition. I mean, what jurisdiction does this man-made definition have to tell someone that they are not something that they are accepted as in the eyes of their religious deity?

       In our societies, this concept of virginity is often used as a way to divide people into groups in order to make it easier to discriminate against one another. For instance, in middle schools, a common situation is one in which students who are no longer “virgins” are made fun of and called harsh names. Taking such situation into account, it is understandable why being a child whom has been sexually assaulted may be one of the biggest contradictions to the definition of virginity. Not only would this child have to forever live with whatever traumatic reprecautions would result from the attack, but they also have to face being labeled by terms such as “whore” and “slut” for an event that was completely out of their control. It is also an understandable situation in which sexual assault victims would still consider themselves virgins, even if what happened to them fits the definition of sexual intercourse. Who would anyone be to tell these children, “Nope, you can’t do that. What happened to you is considered sex; so you’re not a virgin.” This proves that as long as rapes and sexual assaults still occur in our world, the idea of “virginity” will remain a skewed one.

       So hear me out. Based on the evidence that I’ve provided, this concept of “virginity” is starting to seem more and more questionable, wouldn’t you agree? Between having no physiology to back up its definition to being somewhat incorrect when controversial yet realistic individuals of our societies are taken into context, this term and its accompanying definition are subject to face some serious heat concerning its validity. I’m not trying to push the definition of this word one way or another; I’m just seeking to raise awareness on the fact that it is definitely lacking on some stage or another. Don’t get me wrong; Madonna is a phenomenal artist. But with this knowledge, maybe I can let you all know that this word, like many others in our language, shouldn’t be mainstreamed in our societies as it is, considering it’s flawed definition. But don’t worry; I don’t consider it in the slightest sense wrong to keep blasting that jam, because, let’s face it: there’s nothing wrong with a song that makes us all feel a little bit more “shiny and new” after hearing it.