It's a great relief for me to be able to take some time away from schoolwork. I know that my brain is thankful to have a month to recuperate from the abuse that it was subjected to, which I'm sure many other college students experience during finals week.
This being said, the absolute LAST thing on my mind was the holiday season. Honestly, my sense of time has been very badly distorted (thanks, college), so it is always a bit of a shock for me when I look at a calender and see that we are so close to entering 2015.
On top of this, I am barely ever to remember that it's Christmastime.
I mean, yes, I know that Christmas is December 25th...but it just doesn't "feel" like Christmas.
Do you remember being young, and being consumed with the holiday spirit? I do. I remember that right when December 1st came around, I would pull out the ornaments box (even though we never bought a tree until a few days before Christmas) and turn on the little device we had that played Christmas tunes. I remember writing my 'Wish List' over and over, and counting down the days until Christmas. I remember shopping for presents with my mother, and having suspense build up inside of me as more and more gifts appeared under the tree. I especially remember waking up nice and early on Christmas morning, and opening gifts while being recorded on video, and laughing and playing with my siblings.
...Oh, how things change as you get older.
Now, at this time of the year, I feel nothing. There is no anticipation surrounding the season. The Christmas tree (no longer a real one that we haul into the house--but a fake one) in my house stays up year-round, mainly because my parents don't care to disassemble it, nor do they have the time. I don't have any desire to give or receive presents. And Christmas morning? I spend it planning for what's to come, as far as work and school are concerned.
I noticed this change within myself quite some time ago. It started when there was no longer time to go out and buy presents for people, because we were always busy running the Subways. In addition to that, time and other factors had caused us to drift away from our family-friends, so there wasn't really anyone to buy presents for anymore. Soon, Christmastime simply meant that we needed to stock up on more food and supplies in the stores, since others would be out shopping, and thus stopping by to get food.
And as I began to get more mature, I didn't feel the need to have a 'Wish List'. Since probably the 9th grade, I have declined my parents gifting gestures. When asked 'What do you want for Christmas?' the seasoned answer became 'Nothing.' And not because I was just a perfect child who was too selfless for her own good; I just sincerely didn't want anything. Even a few weeks ago, when my mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas, my response was, "Don't get me anything; just when I ask for something throughout the year, give me the money so I can get it." (And as selfish as that may sound, I assure you that I really don't ask for much throughout the year to begin with.)
My lack of holiday spirit probably also has something to do with my recent distaste for the way holidays are presented and celebrated. I feel that our society has lost the true meaning of different holidays in the frenzy of shopping deals and fictional characters. I mean, Christmas isn't about giving and receiving gifts, or waiting for Santa Claus to drop down the chimney; it's the anniversary of the birth of Jesus Christ.
I feel the same way about Thanksgiving. I didn't go home for this holiday, nor did I attend any great big dinner. I just don't see the need to wait for one specific day to be thankful for anything and everything. (Plus, I think we could all agree that skipping out on all of those calories wouldn't be a bad idea, either.)
And don't even let me get started on Easter.
And I guess it could be argued that the holiday season is meant to bring families and different groups of people together. But if you are doing this through the showing of the movie 'Elf' or gift-wrapping, instead of discussing what the religious importance of December 25th really is, I'm sorry, but I think that's wrong.
So how will I be spending my Christmas morning, you may ask? Probably sleeping in, since Subway will be closed. Sending a few prayers in the direction of the Birthday Boy, and his Creator. Awkwardly mingling with my siblings ('awkwardly' because we all haven't lived in the same house together since I was about nine years old). Submitting resumes to different businesses and hospitals in a desperate attempt to score a summer internship. Mourning over my fallen GPA. Continue working on the book that I was supposed to publish two years ago. And maybe I'll tune in for a few Christmas cartoons, for old times sake.
Happy Holidays, and stay safe!
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