ShortStory5--Conspiracy Theorist

  You see, what people don't know is, is that love isn't about meeting your soulmate and all that jazz--
  Love is a conspiracy.
  Call me crazy, they all do!! But this idea of 'love' is just a concept fabricated by the government to benefit themselves--it's a conspiracy, I tell you!!
  Consider this. What does this 'love' idea result in, what comes of it? I'll tell you; when two people "fall in love" (Even the name of the term sets off bells; who in their right mind would want to fall?!), this idea that they are soulmates prompts them to get married. And when two individuals get married, what do they have to purchase from the government?: a marriage license!! Do you hear that; because you're in love, you have to pay the government! Love brings the states money!!
  But it doesn't end there!! After marriage, you know what comes? Children!! Little miniature money guzzling minions!! Children require diapers, food, shelters....all of these which you have to purchase from grocery stores. And how does this help the government?! Because it keeps money flowing into the economy, that's why!! This means that because love results in children and because children cost money, love keeps money flowing into the economy!! It's quite ingenious, isn't it, how the government has this 'love' idea perpetually sucking money out of us
  But it goes on!! Oh, this joyous cycle goes on! Now you have to raise these children that resulted from your 'love' and, of course, you're going to raise them to be the best individual that they can be. And when they grow up, you send them off into the world to get a job to benefit society. It has nothing to do with them; it's the fact that working is the only way that they can obtain a paycheck, and the government gets to take a nice little helping of their paychecks. It's just another way for the governement to benefit from the concept of 'love'!!
  And now we've come to the best part: when the cycle repeats. Now your children, being grown adults at this point, have reached of age at which they are expected to "fall in love", marry, and keep the cycle alive!!
  It's all a cruel ploy by the government, do you see?!?! Such a clever scheme, and we have managed to fall right into it!! We must unite as a people, and break away from its sphere of influence!!
  But hey; what do I know? I'm just the crazy conspiracy theorist in the room.